6/4/25
I am going to try to start writing again in a journal or
something because I am feeling so low right not. I picked up Mr. Bojangles's
ashes today and it was a lot harder than I expected
We put him down last week, the vet thought he had cancer. I
tried so hard to take care of him, gave him medicine and carried him around a lot but he was so weak at the end he could barley get up. I am happy about
how that went because we were able to lay down on the ground with him and I
stroked his ears as he went.
He was the best fucking boy ever. Never tore anything up and was nothing but love. I need to keep writing that he wouldn't want me to be sad. That I need to take care of Rye. I need remember that but I miss him so much. He loved to run. I think I believe all dogs go to heaven so I want to think of him running in heaven.
I think he saved my life.
I’m at the library. I really haven’t wrote about my brothers
death three years ago either. I haven’t done really any writing which is
probably bad for me. Rye is having a very hard time as well. I’m a pro wrestler
now as well and Trump is in office. There is just so much strange shit going on
that I couldn’t have believed years ago.
I should write that story and call it wrestling with death.
My stomach is sore and some crazy person is yelling (Not me
ha ha) so I think I’m going to try to go to the gym. I read my old journal the
other day so that’s what I am going to try to do and read more maybe that will
make things better. God mom is such a mess too it’s just a lot. Just a fucking
lot.
